Cassidy's 2nd Christmas

We got to spend time with family and friends, eat good food and visit. Cassidy got tons of gifts, of course, and entertained the family with her silly faces and general antics.

Some updates:

She has so many words, it's hard to count. She knows many animals, body parts, people's names, etc. She talks incessantly and puts 2 words together frequently. She has a set of 52 cards with different things on them and she knows what each of them are - if I put down 6 cards and say "Where is the giraffe" she points right to it.

She can't say the "S" or "Sh" sound so she replaces those with an "H". So, Shayna is Hayna and Santa is Hanta. She loves the idea of "Hanta" and points him out wherever she sees him.

She knows to say please and thank you and is learning to use words to get what she wants - hopefully lessening the whining, which is annoying.

She is very outgoing and independent. She warms up to people quickly and enjoys attention.

She has a funny little dance that she does when catchy music comes on. One of her favorite things to do is to pretend to put her stuffed animals to bed. She covers them with a blanket and pats them and says "Night-night."

Here are some photos from Christmas.

more words

Just popping in to add to Cassidy's word list:

New words in italics, as of 17 months of age - some of these she has known for a while but I forgot about.

mama
dada
pappy
mamie (Grammie)
Tait (Kait)
Henny (Henry)
Ted
eat
cheese
peas
bottle
ray-ray (raisins)
bow (hair bow)
ball
dog
duck
hi
bye-bye
binky
blanket
gentle
tickle
sticker
monkey
book
hug
Animal sounds for (horse, dog, cat, cow, sheep)
no
Ok (she says this a lot when she means "yes")
please
Wee!
Yay!
Good girl


yeah
home
one
two
"b" (she only knows this letter for some reason.)
apple
turtle
water
milk
more
up
down
done
horse
eye
ear
head
nose
hurt
ouch
help
go
Abby (dog next door)
walk
peek (as in peek-a-boo)
shoe
sock
hat
fish
elbow
bow
bugger! (just something funny she yells)
thank you
swing
doll
shirt
bunny
chair
school
cracker
beans
tofu
grapes
juice
poop
that

Catching up

I have not blogged in so long! I feel guilty about not capturing more of Cassidy's milestones. She has been learning and growing so much! She is 16 months old this week and we have much to record here.

Words she knows and says on her own in context:

mama
dada
pappy
mamie (Grammie)
Tait (Kait)
Henny (Henry)
Ted
eat
cheese
peas
bottle
ray-ray (raisins)
bow (hair bow)
ball
dog
duck
hi
bye-bye
binky
blanket
gentle
tickle
sticker
monkey
book
hug
Animal sounds for (horse, dog, cat, cow, sheep)
no
Ok (she says this a lot when she means "yes")
please
Wee!
Yay!
Good girl


Body parts she can point to:
eyes
ears
nose
head
hair
knee
foot
hand
mouth
teeth
belly
belly button


Things she likes to do:
have books read to her
fold toys up in a blanket and carry them around
pretend to put people, animals and toys to bed
play with cell phones and remote controls
empty the contents of purses
go through contents of my wallet
play with the computer/laptop
play with her toys in the bath tub
dance to music on the radio
have the song "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" sung to her
walk around the block
Climb up and slide down a slide - she is fearless

She has no concept of or interest in colors or shapes or letters

She can run very fast and climb a lot of stairs

She can stack large blocks in high towers

She can take off her shoes

She helps to clean up books/toys and will hand us objects we ask for

She can turn on the music on her Sound Machine

She is learning to wash herself in the tub

She is learning to wipe her hands and tray off after eating

She wore a kitty cat costume for Halloween

Back, kind of like the Republicans. (but more fun.)

Howdy folks. Sorry it's been a while.

I've been working on this project: www.brightzoo.com

I'm blogging over there in a more "official" capacity. You should check it out because it basically rocks.

So, Cassidy is huge and amazing and talks almost as much as I do, except she is limited to 2 word sentences and is fixated with the words "ball, bow, no, Momma, yay and book."

I am trying to decide what to do with her hair, which is super curly in back and wavy in front and basically in her eyes all the time because her "bow", she likes to THROW whenever possible. Cutting her hair feels like a really big decision. It is so perfect and beautiful. But it's in her little eyeballs. Ugh.

She started "school" recently. She goes to daycare a few times a week and she seems to really like it - she actually cries when I pick her up. I am not sure how I should feel about this.

Baby girl has somehow turned into Little Girl.

How did she get so big and smart, seemingly overnight. She now walks, nay, RUNS. She talks - actual words in context. She can now say dada, momma, no, cheese, bye-bye, hi, hey, uh-oh, hello, duck, dog, gentle, hot, up and hat. She might know the word $hi+. Oops. There was a vegetable tray forgetting incident - realized 40 miles away from home where said veggie tray was sitting peacefully on the counter, so "the word" it just came out...and guess who repeated it? We tried very hard not to laugh.

She loves to take a bunch of things out of something - cards out of a box, blocks out of a bag - and look at each one and throw them all around. She has learned to say "up" when she wants picked up which is very helpful. The alternative is that she tugs on my pants until either they fall down or I pick her up.

She loved the beach when we took her last month. She especially enjoyed the ocean and spending time with lots of people who love her. THere were wagon rides, bike rides (daddy towing her in a bike trailer) and trips to town for ice cream. Good times. A trip to the beach with a one-year-old is not very relaxing but it is still very fun.

Walking, talking, climbing, oh my!

Little Miss is not so little these days. She is getting so big and has become such a little person. She says so many words and takes 4-5 steps at a time before plopping onto her bottom. She had a wonderful first birthday with a lot of friends and family and a giant hot dog bar with tons of different toppings for food. She loves the pool and is pretty fearless - she even goes under....well, let's say she tolerates me dunking her with minimal trauma. She climbs and knocks stuff down. She throw things and hides things - found my cell phone under couch after 20 frantic minutes of looking.

As for me, juggling everything in my life is challenging. I finally finished grad school (now I have to pay for it, haha.) I am also involved with an exciting project based in NYC where I will actually be paid for writing my observations and confessions. And I'm trying to formalize my consulting stuff (social media and team building services) which is taking up a lot of time and energy. Plus work...you know, my regular full time job. The busy season is coming up and thinking about that makes me feel tired. All of that and watching this little lady grow and change. I am bound and determined to do it all well - I know it's possible even if other people think it's crazy.

Here are a few favorite photos from the last month or so.

Almost 1!

I can't believe we are nearing Cassidy's first birthday!

I haven't been so great at updating this blog. Let's see if we can mention the highlights of that last month or so.

Cassidy started walking this past week. Just a step or two or three here and there from one person to another. She prefers to crawl because it's less scary and faster and more comfortable for her, but she'll take steps when she's in a good mood.

She is talking but only a few word: dadda for everything, mama when she is sad, tired, etc. She says Nigh-nigh when she means "no." She says "uh-oh" about 50 times a day Sometimes in context and sometimes not. She babbles a lot saying "whoa-whoa-whoa" and "oh-oh-oh" for no real apparent reason.

Cassidy loves animals and water. We took her to Idlewild and her favorite was definitely the water rides. She was very brave and rode some of the kiddyland rides, too. We went to the county fair in Butler County and she loved the horses, sheep, pigs, etc.

Cassidy knows to clap if we start to sing "If you're happy and you know it". She dances to the alphabet song when her music table plays it.

She is very interested in cell phones and will grab ours any chance she gets. She also tried to get to the lap top constantly. She holds almost any small object up to her ear and says "Wa-wo?" which means "hello?"

She also loves books. Her current favorites are The Belly Button Book, Brown Bear Brown Bear, Farm Animals Touch/Feel, and Pat the Cat.

Cassidy sleeps from 7:30 or 8pm until 6/7am. We are thrilled about this.

Apparently daycare = horrible illnesses

Well, Cass spent her second day at the daycare provided for "emergencies" by Kevin's employer. And like clockwork, just like the last time, 3 days later, she has come down with some virus. Gawd, don't they wash stuff there? She has a fever and yucky diapers and is just miserable. She wants to be held for about 4 seconds, then squirms away and then cries to be held, and the cycle repeats. Ugh.

sometime I feel bad for not posting more often...

...then I remember the baby journal thing my mom had that she recently gave me to check out has about 3-4 entries per year in it up until I'm 3 and then there is about 1 entry every year or two up until about age 8 or 9, and the rest is blank. So slacking for 2 weeks as we near the end of the first year really isn't so bad. I do feel bad about not having that baby scrapbook, though.

Cassidy is growing like a weed and acquiring more words. She repeated a 3 word sentence the other day - not that she knew what it meant or anything, but it was kind of awesome.

She is still not into walking. She will stand for a few seconds, maybe do a slow squat and then plop down into a sitting position. She loves to crawl and does so often and fast. She has figured out she can go faster if she puts whatever she is holding, into her mouth instead of carrying it in her hand. She shouts out things like "ha haha ha" and "wawawawawawa" and "nanananananan." She also yells "nine!" or "nein" which makes her sound German. She is in a stage where she doesn't always like to be held. She struggles to get down so she can be free and explore. She explores electrical outlets, power cords, glass things, sharp edges and anything expensive that breaks easily. She likes to "run" (she really does have this fast crawl/trot thing going on) to the cats' food bowl and grab pieces of cat food. She then picks up the bowl which is ceramic and kind of heavy and throw it. It has, thankfully, not broken.

She enjoys her reflection, which we refer to as "little girl in the mirror" which is kind of creepy. She also enjoys black beans and bananas.

just an update

I am now 32 years old and walked through my graudaiton ceremony for my master's program. Still have 5 weeks of internship and a big paper to do but we're close to being done and it feels good.

Cassidy was a perfect angel at graduation. What 10 month old gets through 2.5 hours of college faculty pattin ghtemselves on the back and a long list of names being read without incident? She slept in my father's arms and basically smiled and laughed the rest of the time.

She is saying "dada, mama, baba, yay, uh-oh" and now..."thank you." She knows her name and the words for lots of things (though she can't yet say them) like ball, Henry, gentle. She also responds to "no" and "sit on your bum."

I have been having a lot of responsibilities converge at once - grad school is wrapping up with a flurry of assignments, work is extremely busy right now and it seems like every birthday I care about is about to slap me in the face. I am having a hard time keeping up, as evidenced by my lack of posting. This is the first time I've felt truly overwhelmed by stuff other than mommyhood in a long time. Cassidy is just a joy - how did we incorporate her into our lives such that she is not the only thing going on? I guess we're getting used to the parenting gig.

going with the flow

Being a mom, I am discovering is about going with the flow. What I mean by that is that the whole journey is this constantly changing series of stages. As soon as you get used to something, it changes. Seriously, the moment you develop this ingenius way of occupying the baby in the cosleeper with toys so you can do your make-up without holding her, she learns to stand up, nearly vaulting herself out of the cosleeper. Yeah. The cosleeper is now my clothing rack for stuff I tried on but didn't actually wear but didn't have time to hang up. You have that clothing rack, too, right? Perhaps yours is shaped more like an exercise bike?

Being a mom is also about hurrying. I feel like I am always ALWAYS hurrying. Until that little bundle of cuteness hits the sack for the night, which she is now THANK YOU LORD JESUS doing fairly predictably and with little fanfare, I feel like I am in a race in which everyone is passing me up, and during which, I regularly lose a shoe, trip over one of those plastic stacking rings or have to pee. Speaking of peeing, I hurry when I pee now. That seems kind of ridiculous, I know, but when you have a very fast 9-month old headed straight for a big fat orange cat who, while tolerant to the point of sainthood, is about one ear tug away from retailiation...you pee fast.

Being a mom is about saying no. Not just to Princess Wiggle Bottom who enjoys such refined past times as pulling mom's hair and calling Finland by poking at my cell phone. But to adults. Adults who ask me to do fun stuff. Unfortunately sometimes that fun stuff is just too plain expensive. We're than couple, now, who doesn't stay in the hotel after the wedding, but rather flips a coin to see who has to stay sober enough to drive home. But even the less expensive activities like happy hours and bachelorette parties and afternoon lunches...well, my time is simply incredibly limited. I have to pick aand choose. And sometimes it kills me. But when I've asked my husband to do solo-daddy duty 3 friday nights in a row, it's time to regretfully decline. The next 8-10 weeks are particularly crazy. We have my birthday, my graduation, Mothers Day, my mom's birthday, my dad's birthday, Memorial Day, Fathers Day, my final grad school presentation, 2 major work events, a fundraiser event I am intmately involved with, 2 weddings, my husband's birthday and of course, Little Miss Mischief's very first birthday. I might die. Obviously, none of those things are really "optional." And some of them are pretty significant. Fortunately Grammie and Pappy are up for a lot of babysitting gigs. How I'm going to afford all of these things is yet to be seen.

Do people give you cash for your master's degree graduation? Yeah, didn't think so. How is it that high school kids hit the jackpot? You can pass high school rocking out to your Ipod while you text your friends and make out with your pimply faced boyfriend and yet, there are tent rentals and catering and lots of envelopes with generous checks to celebrate this accomplishment. For your bachelors degree, you're lucky if someone has a cookout for you and pays for the diploma. As for your master's degree? You're lucky if you parents show up at the auditorium. And if you want a party you'd better throw it yourself. Meanwhile 85% of Americans have a high school diploma and only about 7% have a master's degree. And yet, we celebrate and throw money at the people when they complete the bare minimum which cost them no money, and say "congrats" on Facebook to people when they complete a master's program that they now owe $25,000 for. This puzzles me. But it kind of goes the same way with weddings. Your friends who get married right out of college - everyone puts the most effort and time into those - you are thrilled to sit around and make bows out of ribbon. I recall spending an entire freezing cold afternoon driving all over Southeast Ohio in search of the perfect little white chapel for a friend who was getting married and searching on the Internet for weeks, attempting to locate a band that played a particularly obscure type of music for another friend's wedding. I once created an Excel spreadsheet for everyone helping with another friend's wedding, held a meeting with an agenda and considered renting walkie talkies for the day's events. There were entire days of spa treatments, entire months of weekends blocked out for dress hunting. But these days, when we're 32 and have a demanding job and a child, a husband and 160 hours of internship to complete...we think we deserve a medal for remembering to buy our bridesmaid dress and finding the time to shower before the wedding and leave our Blackberry in our purse during the ceremony. Also? If you ask me to sit still for 2 hours and shell out $75 for some blonde moron to figure out how to coax my unruly curls into an acceptable "updo" you are out of your bridezilla mind.

But doesn't that suck?!?! Much like those of us who have trudged through dozens of academic books, impractical theories and churned out more papers than you'd need to paper mache the Statue of Liberty, the hold-outs among us who waited to get married until they were old enough to know that doing a Jager-Bomb at an office function is just a terrible idea...don't they deserve the same kind of fireworks and standing ovations we were willing to offer up back when we were doing those Jager-Bombs?

Today, we upgraded.

We became a real family. As evidenced by the SUV that is currently being washed, waxed and detailed at a dealership a few miles from here and the loan applicaiton that is being processed with our names on it.

There was a time when I thought owning an SUV of any kind was not just a bad idea, but actually wrong. Morally wrong. I no longer feel that way. The gas mileage on the one we picked out is pretty good. It's very safe. It's not obnoxiously huge. It has plenty of room and a latch system for the car seat. Basically it meets our needs and was in our price range. But I still feel a tiny bit like I sold out.

There are a lot of things I find myself doing that, at one time, I never thought I would. For exmaple, I can remember driving back to college after a break with a friend and stopping several times along the way, taking our sweet time, kind of an eye roll gesture at my dad's silly notion that you should complete road trips "before dark". These days, if I am driving, even across town, while I am certainly in no way afraid of driving at night, it just seems kind of sensible to be home "before dark."

I also never thought I would stay home on a Saturday night if I had a choice in the matter and I never dreamed I would bother with using coupons.

However, I am proud to report I have still never left the house in a velour sweat suit.

Springtime with a 9 month old

Cassidy is going through so many changes. She learns more every day. She says quite a few words, usually repeating them after we say them. She says "dada and mama" fairly frequently...dada, much more often than mama since she learned it first. She is also saying the following words or at least something that sounds like them: yay, uh-oh, dog, Ted (one of our cats) and baby.

She is crawling like crazy, pulling herself up into a standing position on everything she can grab and taking a lot of assisted steps. She can't wait to walk. Me, I can definitely wait. She'll be walking by 11 months, I predict.

Additionally, we are not sleeping in the chair with her anymore. If she cries at night, we go in and soothe her for a minute but we don't pick her up. She has slept through the night several time in the past week and last night she woke up and got very fussy. I went in twice and comforted her but basically just let her cry after the second time. It took 11 minutes but she went back to sleep on her own until 7:30am. This is really amazing that we are all sleeping well. I thought ht elight at the end of that tunnel would never come.

Tantrums

Well, my nearly 9 month old is now throwing tantrums. Fortunately she is too little to do much damage and they are few and far between. But 3-4 times now, within a few days, she has just decided she is NOT into whatever is happening...getting her dipe changed, finishing her bottle. And she just starts to use every ounce of power she has to wiggle away. Pushing, crying, kicking her legs. It's unsettling. I have known since the moment she was born that she was strong willed but I wasn't expecting this quite yet. With grad school and work and everything that goes on the last couple of months, I haven't been reading up much on what is appropriate in terms of development at this stage. Need to read up - hoping I'm not the only one!

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Sick little one

Having a sick baby is just the worst. Every mother has been there. When they are teenagers and act like jerks, moms always think (if not say) the whole "Who do you think held you all night when you were sick?" When you are the teenager in question, it goes in one ear and out the other, because, well, you've never actually Stayed. Up. All. Night. to take care of someone who is misery personified. You've never listened to someone you grew inside your body cry themsleves hoarse and felt totally helpless and useless and sad. You've never sacrificed your sleep and sanity and ability to function to just be there with someone so they aren't alone, knowing you can't fix it, but choosing to dwell in the restless night along with them.

But to a mother. One phrase "sick baby" and you've got that collective knowing, empathy. Thanks to all the moms out there who have done this before. (Dads, too.) Especially mine.

Memories

I feel really bad about not having some kind of scrapbook for Cassidy. I am soooo not the scrapbooking type. Although I must confess that this is what happens when someone brings up the topic of scrapbooking:

Them: "So, I've been getting more into scrapbooking."

Me: (externally) "Oh, really?" (internally) "Hahahaha - that is ridiculous and kind of embarassing. Shh, someone will hear you!"

Them: "You want to see the one I"m working?"

Me: (externally) "Sure." (internally) "ughghghghgh. Nooooo. No no no!! No."

Then they show it to me and I feel bad for mocking it. Not just because I'm mean and stuff. But also because I am kind of jealous. Sweet little baby pictures framed in awesome plaids and funky polka dots with cool textured borders. Holy hip-tastic crafting, Batman. I mean, what's not to like? Scrapbooking, these days, doesn't have to be your mother's scrapbook with those quilted covers and lace and crap. No offense to those who scrapbook in the realm of the Victorian era and gorge themselves on copious amounts of pink and frilly fabric, but, seriously, there is some exciting and very up to date stuff out there. If they make stickers that say "That's What She Said" I'm selling everything I own and heading to Pat Catan's.

And....I feel bad that all of Cassidy's memorabilia is electronic. I am secretly afraid that 1. someone will set off an EMP bomb and destroy all technology as we know it and we'll have to live like the settlers, which, in many ways would be extremely awesome (imagine never havin gto sit through someone's long outgoign voicemail message again, reminding you, in case you've never heard one before to leave your name, number and reason for calling.) Yes, life Amish-style might sort of rock, but as far as electronic posterity goes, not so much. and 2. that my child will get older and think I am lame for not making more of an effort to capture the awesomeness of her life as a baby.

I personally love seeing stuff from when I was a babe. My mom hardly has anything now - in her defense 1. there are a lot of videos in some cabinet someplace and 2. we DID survive a house explosion in the late 80s so who knows what used to exist. She wasn't ever really the collecting type, though. There is an album or two around, which is enough, but it would be cool to see a little more of "My first _______" with some rockin' disco-era clip art next to it. Not that they had clip art back then, but you get the point.

Capturing and preserving, in one way or another, the experience of raising a child is important. How we do it is up to us. If you're thinking about scrap booking, this looks like a fun place to start: http://www.etsy.com/category/paper_goods/scrapbooking

Zoom zoom

She is growing so fast. Today was a big day - she was rocking back and forth seemingly about to crawl. It really could be any day now. She also, get this, said MAMA!!! I heard it and I said "What?!" And she said it again. So I grabbed the Flip video camera and tried to get her to say it and she did. Amazing. I mean, it's not really amazing, considering it's a very age appropriate milestone. But it feels amazing to me.

Her two little bottom teeth are about halfway in and she's learning to use them on organic cheerios and mangos.

She is developing more facial expressions, like sometimes she'll see something and then look at me and raise her eyebrows like "Pretty cool huh?"

We are going to NYC this weekend for a photo shoot - for me and for her. I am going to be blogging on a new e-commerce site (been saving up my funny stuff for the new blog - sorry if this one has been boring) and Cassidy is going to be modeling along with some other kids, which I feel slightly weird about. We should get some nice photos out of it, though.

bodily functions

Babies have no self awareness. In some ways, it's a beautiful thing...just being yourself and not giving a hoot what anyone thinks about it. She only laughs when actually amused, not just to be polite. She actually yells and cries if she is bored - man, I wish I could do that sometimes! And she farts, burps and goes number two right in front of people. She grunts and squirms and we laugh. We wipe her mouth, her nose and her bum several times daily. And we don't mind. We don't exactly enjoy mopping up digested, pureed sweet potatoes but we gamely oblige.

What is it about that? If I had to wipe anyone else's rear end, even that of someone I really love, it would be traumatic. I would do it, in an emergency - hmmm, having a hard time thinking of an emergency like that. But if there was one, I'd do it. But it would be mind scarring. Although, now that I think about it, there was that one ill-conceived time with me, Bethany and a bikini waxing kit...shudder. But that didn't involve poop so much as an extreme crossing of all normal lines of privacy. It didn't go well. There may have been some blood and a lot of semi-angry name calling.

Anyway, it suffices to say that I think it is strange and kind of amazing that either biologically or spiritually or emotionally, we are wired to stomach a lot when it comes to parenting. Bad smells (one whiff of that diaper pail could knock out a quarter horse), gross substances (that squeezy bulb thing does NOT work on boogers - it's all about the spray), loud noises (a baby that has spied a full bottle that is not currently in her mouth is an earsplitting expereince), extremely reduced sleep quality and quantity (I hate whoever deicded that snaps are better than zippers - I mean, which would you rather do at 3 am in a cloud of horrible poop smell - one zipper or 14 snaps??)

BUt truly, there is nothing more incredible than watching the squirt do something new for the first time. Her latest trick is waving. She only uses her hand and kins of squeezes her fingers in and out - no arm motion yet. But we freak out when she does it, (Go ahead, picture two grown adults squatting down, clapping and screaming "YAY!") And when she smiles....man, you can have the worst day and see that smile and none of it matters.

tubing! Last year, I was pregnant

When we do stuff that we've done as an annual tradition this year, I find myself thinking back to the previous year, when I was pregnant. During the holidays, I couldn't have cocktails and didn't feel like hanging out with people who were, for example. During my birthday, I didn't celebrate with my usual zeal because staying up late in a smoky bar to sing karaoke didn't sound fun at all. Last year during our annual tubing excursion, I hung out on the sidelines and took photos. But in addition to missing out on some fun stuff, there was this sense of purpose and an air of excitement and anticipation to everything. The phrase "this time next year..." was uttered on many occasions.

Well, here we are. This time next year.

I'm a mom. And I feel like one, in all the great ways - I feel like a grown up. I feel responsible. I feel the joy of helping to create life, deliver it into this world and nurture it with all of my being. And all the not so awesome ways - what IS this extra roll and when will it go away??

But now I find myself thinking "This time next year...she'll be..."

I think of my life in terms of the milestones of this other person. This person who began inside my body, the size of a sesame seed, and who is now yelling, rolling, standing with just a fingertip of support, eating near adult-sized portions of oatmeal and seemingly taking the term "leak proof" as a serious personal challenge. This person who might go on to be a champion snowboarder or rocket scientist or supreme court justice. Or a pothead. Or a career criminal. Who knows.

Hopefully in a couple of years she'll be excited about stuff like snowtubing. I really can't wait to do stuff like that with her and I'll be pumped if she really likes it. I can tell you one thing. She doesn't like going to bed.

mobility

If you've met my mother, she has probably told you that I am an only child because I was a "horrible baby." This is not a joke. Apparently I was so grouchy as an infant my parents couldn't imagine going through all of that again. One thing my mom will say, if pressed on this topic, is that her assessment is that I just didn't like being a baby. Once I could talk and walk and had a little more control over my circumstances, I was much more pleasant. Prior to speaking and moving, all you can really do is cry. And I did a lot of it.

I know exactly what she means because I am pretty sure I am dealing with precisely the same thing. Cassidy is 7 months, one week and I think she is just done being a baby. She gets so unhappy and seems so frustrated that she can't tell us why. She gets bored so easily and she does NOT like being left alone. I think if she could get up and walk where she wanted or say "Hey, People, I've got a wet diaper here," I really think she would be less of an (as our pediatrician called it) "intense responder."

I love her babyhood. I love her being portable when I want and stationary when I want. I love her wee little self all curled up against me when she falls asleep in my arms. I don't midn meeting her every need and I love it when I can tell exactly what's wrong with her just by looking at her. But I also can't wait for her to be as independent as she wants to be.

7 months, tomorrow

Tomorrow Little Miss will be 7 months old. Here is a summary of her state of being at 7 months.

She doesn't yet crawl but she is really trying. When she gets tired she rolls onto her back and gets where she wants that way.

She says :"Dada, Baba and aye-yai-yai." She also fake-coughs with an "h" sound.

She shakes her head "no" when she doesn't want more food.

She has two teeth - bottom, middle

She still is a HORRIBLE sleeper. She sleeps until about midnight and then one of us goes in the room and holds her in the recliner. At 9 months we are seriously considering Ferberizing. Not that it will necessariy work...

She cries when she is left somewhere - like in her exersaucer or on a play mat, even if you are just walking 10 feet away to get something. She does not like the sense that you are putting her someplace to go and do something else. I spend a lot of time trying to fool her into thinking I am near her when I am now.

She is not very good at being read to. She grabs the book and wants to eat it.

RIght now she loves her plastic pail with plastic block shapes in it, her stackable rings and this little plastic chain link thing. Those are her favorites these days. She also loves her purple talking stuffed dog, Violet.

She likes NEW things - stuff she's never seen before. We have kept some toys in their boxes to kind of ration out to her. A new toy is usually very exciting. She also likes things she should not have like my cell phone charger and greeting cards.

She sits up unsupported very well and only falls over if she gets overly excited or reaches too far for something. If she falls over she cries a lot.

She can sip out of a cup of waterif you help her.

She is not into the sippy cup - it requires much more suction than one would think! I've tried to modify it so it comes out more easily but even so, she isn't into it.

We do not let her "watch" television except if there is an important sports game on like the Steelers or Penguins. Occasionally, Kevin has a rerun of Family Guy or The Office on when she gets her last bottle. Of course, when we go to other people's houses, some people just have the tv on for...what? Background noise or something? (I really don't understand this, myself, because I find it challenging to have a conversation when there is a tv in my ear but I realize this is what many people do, so I dont' really think about it much.) But we are keeping the idea of TV as a novelty to her. It's not good for little ones to watch tv or even be exposed to it regularly, probably ever, but certainly not until age 2. This child is already very strong willed - the last thing I need is ADD/ADHD on top of that. I know a lot of people use tv as a babysitter, and I can totally understand that on some days when I am trying to get my work and school work done and watch her at the same time, but I'm trying to avoid that whole situation, tempting as it may be. It is one of few things I haven't caved on.

I make Cassidy's babyfood. So far we have done carrots, applesauce, sweet potatoes, butternut sqaush, spinach, avacado, garbonzo beans and potatoes. She has had exactly two jars of jarred baby food and I am NOT a fan. (Although I am ok with organic jarred food on occasions where it's impractical to carry homemade babyfood around.) She has liked everything except potatoes and avacado but she might just have been grouchy on those days. She has also had oatmeal and rice cereal.

Cassidy went to her first day at a real daycare 2 Fridays ago. Two days later she came down with the stomach virus from hell. Pooping everywhere and a little vomit. We are on day 10 and there is still at least 1 major blowout per day that involves an entire wardrobe change and wipedown or full bath, and several bad diaper changes. We have gone through an obscene number of diapers and an entire tube of diaper cream. Thank you Method brand for making an awesome diaper cream that has kept her bum rash-free. The doc says just keep her hydrated and make sure there is no fever. We have been giving her Pedialyte and pro biotics. Hopefully we will be over this soon. The other part of the story is that she managed to give this to me, Kevin, my mom, my dad and my cousin. I will spare you the details but it was NOT pretty.

That about wraps up her 7 month update. She is a delight about 60% of her waking hours and about 50% of her should-be-sleeping hours. This about sums it up:

There once was a girl who had a big curl,
RIght in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad, she was horrid!

Blizzard, continued

This winter storm has been crazy. Although we had more snow 17 years ago, in 1993, I don't remember anything about that snow storm except sled riding and being off from high school for a few days. It's a different story when you're an adult. First there is the shoveling. See, it normally takes about 45 mins to shovel our driveway. That is, when there is a regular 3 inch snow storm. So, if you multiply that by about 7...that is a lot of shoveling. Granted, kevin did most of it, but I helped when he got tired. When you have an infant, you can't shovel at the same time - someone has to hang inside with the baby.

With this snow, it got to the point where there was no place to put it - the yard areas alongside the driveway were piled up higher than our heads. So, not only were we shoveling, but we were heaving this heavy, wet snow up and over the ridge that had piled up. Our backs are paying for it. I can't imagine what older people who have no help are doing. Our neighborhood is primarily people in their 30s and 40s except our next door neighbor who is an older woman and we share our driveway with her (obviously we take care of snow removal.)

Yesterday I went to the grocery store. Talk about the apocalypse. First of all, the parking lot was jam packed. And this is a big parking lot. I've never seen it even close to full. Secondly, there was still about an inch of snow packed onto the pavement, so no one could see the lines for parking spaces, so it was just a cattywampus mess. I parked at the very back of the lot, which is actually more for the nearby shopping plaza and hiked the 300 or so yards to the front doors, though the snowy, slushy, chaotic mess. I decided to just get the bare essentials (which of course still somehow costed $75) because I wasn't pushing a grocery cart all the way across the icy parking lot with these fools trying to kill each other over parking spaces. As I walked by drivers and pedestrians in varying stages of panic and road rage, I observed that even though the sky was blue and the sun was shining, people were acting like the end was near! I thought to myself "The storm is over - why is everyone freaking out now?" I watched people rushing through the store, cutting in line, pushing, hitting other people's carts to get the last freaking package of smoked sausage. Then it hit me - it was the afternoon before the Superbowl. People were frantically shopping for supplies for Superbowl parties. Ohhh. Since we didn't have plans to go to a party (we were just going to the same bar we always go to) it didn't occur to me that it was that night.

Driving to and from the store was also an adventure. THe four lane highway I normally take was reduced to roughly 2 lanes, with snow piled up high on either side. Occasionally, an ambitious driver (usually a young girl with her hair in a messy ponytail, looking down into her lap half the time, ie. texting - yes! Text all your friends to tell them how crazy and dangerous the roads are while driving on them! Yay for multi tasking!) would venture into no man's land - an area that could be envisioned as a passing lane...but it was much slushier and they would then decide that was a bad idea and attempt to drift back, rudely, into the right lane, causing everyone to slam on their brakes. Additionally, trees were down everywhere and, most disturbing, there were a lot of trees leaning, held up only by...power lines. I had to drive under a tree that was leaning all the way over the road, totally covered in snow, weighing heavily on the power lines. It really freaked me out. I tried to go home a different way but there was a huge fallen tree totally blocking the road so I had to go back and go underneath the scary might-fall-at-any-moment tree.

What a crappy way to die, getting crushed by a tree.

My grad school class is cancelled. I will wait a while before going in to work - at least until the crazies are done driving through rush hour. The trolley system is only partially running so Kevin may have a tough time getting in to work. Cassidy is with Grammie and Pappy. We are hearing stories of friends who have had to walk to relatives homes because they had no power. My uncle rigged up a generator to get the heat going so he could keep him, his wife, two of her adult kids and their families warm through two days of this because they all lost power. The temperatures are dropping and there is news of another snow storm coming tomorrow, bringing an additional 4-8 inches of snow. The National Guard has been called in to help get to the thousands of people who are stranded with no power.

I'm home from work today because we have been asked by the mayor to not travel unless absolutely necessary. I don't have anything snarky or particularly amusing to say - just wanted to document the Big Blizzard of 2010. My dad occasionally refers to the snowstorm that happened when he was an infant in November of 1950 - it's the kind of thing kids like to hear about. "When you were a baby..."

more photos from the blizzard

HOUSE


CAR (!!)



Lemonscarlet and Lemonette

Cassidy's first BLIZZARD!

And....how she felt about being cooped up inside all day:

The morning rush

If you've been my friend for any length of time, you've probably been late to meet me at some point and felt some level of my wrath. I am on time. It's in my blood. I was raised to believe that being late was, quite simply, unacceptable. If I were to add up the hours upon hours I've sat in a restaurant or bar or coffee shop waiting for a friend...if I linger on that thought long enough, my head will explode. So, yeah, I'm a little Type A in that area.

Even with unexpected rush hour traffic I was never late for anything. In fact, even on days when I was so stressed, driving, swearing, flipping the bird at each vehicle I angrily passed, certain I'd be embarrasingly late, I usually walked in to an empty room only to sit and wait for others to arrive.

I fondly recall what it used to be like, to get out the door in the morning. The only question was if I had enough time to actually wash and dry my hair. I'd floss, exfoliate, spend 15 minutes deciding what to wear, dress and then change twice. I'd make an egg white sandwich for breakfast and maybe stop at the post office on the way. Then I become a parent.

I now wake up a full hour earlier than I used to. Half the time I have spent my "sleeping" hours in a semi-reclined, recliner with a wiggly 7 month old in my arms. We get up, I hand her off to her father while I make coffee and grab a South Beach bar. I drink coffee and gnaw on my surprisingly yummy granola bar and while I get ready now, instead of while browsing Facebook, CNN and Babycenter. He hands her back to me. She goes in her co-sleeper thing that has mostly functioned as my clothing rack ever since she decided at about 1 month old that she was so done with sleeping anywhere besides within mine or her daddy's exhausted embrace. She sits in the co-sleeper and might watch me get ready for a few minutes, but mostly she will scream if I am not looking directly at her. I trade off my morning tasks with paying attention to her. Brush teeth, hand her a toy, rinse under shower for 7 seconds, sing her a song, attempt to button skirt that used to fit, swear, throw skirt across room, tickle her belly. She multi-tasks by shaking her plastic key ring, screaming and spitting up on the sweater I was going to wear.

We get her dressed. This takes much longer than it ever should because just when I was making good time, I realize that she is now 7 months and no longer fits in most of the 3-6 month clothing which were sparse anyway becuase we haven't done laundry in 2 weeks. Awesome. Where the hell did we put the 6-9 month stuff? She usually ends up in something a little too big, a little too small, slightly mis-matched or not quite right for the weather. I hate winter. I also hate baby socks. She has never kept two on for more than 3 minutes. I have occasionally pondered just how bad super glue would be for a baby's skin.

On days her daddy is around to help we do better than if he isn't, because if he has to leave early, we somehow have to get her/her carrier, my work bag/laptop, purse, coffee and anything else we need out the door. Yes, I have spilled coffee on her - but don't worry, I haven't actually had hot coffee in months.

If we get to the babysitter at the time we said we'd be there it's a miracle. This babysitter is nice. The last one seemed kind of put out no matter what time I got there which was offputting and unsettling (which is why we have a new babysitter.) But this one is chatty. It doesn't matter how late you are - never be even the teensiest bit rude to the babysitter, at least not when you are leaving the baby in her care. Even the nicest person doesn't go the extra mile for your kid when you are acting like a bitch to them.

By the time I have explained her latest bowel movement and more recent feeding and get back in to my car, I have 2 voicemails and 27 emails. I have resolved to not risk leaving my child motherless by texting and or checking email while driving, so it eats at me the entire drive there as I consider if public transportation would ever work into this crazy schedule so I could at least get some work done during transit. I decide it won't, so I turn up the radio and rock out to a little (enter cool band you've never heard of...actually I listen to NPR and probably will forever unless Jon Steward gets a Serius/XM channel all his own.)

I walk into work - my "new" job that I started shortly after having the babe. You know, the job where they think of me as a chronically slightly late person. My only solace is that my husband has always been a ridiculously late person...and he's good enough at his work that no one has ever fired him or done more than just rolled their eyes. That's the key - you have to be good enough that it doesn't matter. And though mommyhood is to blame for my lateness, it has sharpened just about every skill I have and heightened every sense and further galvanized my already stellar intuition. Basically, I rock and you can wait five minutes for me - I'm worth it.

Video of the babe

We'll see if this works. Fingers crossed.

6 month update

This child has suddenly turned into a real, actual human being. She is so interactive. She can sit up by herself, say "baba" and dada". She is also getting her first tooth! She might have rolled off the bed the other day, too - but she doesn't seem any worse for wear. And as I confess that, (even though it wasn't on my watch, I feel awful about it!) just about everyone I tell has a similar story. I think it's a right of passage of parenthood or something. Basically, realizing you child isn't a Faberge egg. Our doctor told us that if we walk into her office with a five year old with her first skinned knee, we are doing something wrong - she should have her first skinned knee way before that. She said bumps and bruises are how they learn their limits. I love our doctor. I am also scared of Cassidy hurting herself. But that is just part of life, part of motherhood. I love this little girl so much. She is just a delight at this age. No, the sleeping situation isn't really any better, but she is totally worth it.

6 month update

She can sit up all by herself! Almost exactly at 6 months. It is so funny how one day she totally can't do something and the next day she can. She is also saying DaDa and BaBa...sporadically. She weighs 15 pounds, 4 ounces. She went down to the 25th percentile for weight but 50th for height and head circumference.

She has a v ery short attention span and really gets mad if she feels like she has just been put down and left somewhere. We have to kind of trick her into it, like put her down or in her exersaucer and kind of mosey away, nonchalantly. Otherwise she yells, like immediately. High pitched, angry, loud. She yells about that the way that other babies yell when they have been very suddenly injured in some way. It is rather disturbing, but also kind of funny. It's like her feelings are hurt, but times 50.

She still has a bald spot on the back of her head from this little habit she has of vigorously turning her head from side to side about 20 times before she falls asleep. Hopefully that will go away. That and the little patch of hair on her lower back - yipes! (If only she could switch them...)

She screams with delight whenever she sees either of the cats and she loves her baths better than just about anything. She still is not really into sleeping.






The picture with me in it is of me, Kevin, Cass and Lily, Amy and Scott's daughter who about 6 weeks old (about 1 month in this photo.)

ugh. our first choking incident

Well, we had our first mini-emergency. It was relatively minor, but it COULD have been BAD. She managed to nibble off a corner of an envelope and down the hatch it went. I tried to grab it but couldn't - she shut her little baby jaws and wouldn't let me reach in there. She swallowed it and started to choke. I had to grab her and run up the stairs to the changing table where I coule see better doing "back blows" which knocked it free. I then tried to grab it first with my fingers, then tweezers, and eventually fished it out with her baby thermometer. I remained calm, but nearly had a heart attack afterward. Poor thing - she was so scared and confused - I've never hit her on the back or shoved my fingers down her throat before. I felt horrible about the whole thing.

2009: the year in review

January: In January of this year, I was in my second trimester. I also started to get very sick. It started out as a cold - it got worse and worse and eventually turned into pneumonia, which is the LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH OF PREGNANT WOMEN. It turned into a sinus infection at some point which made my face hurt - a lot. I was afraid of falling on the ice and hurting the babe. I wasn't big enough for maternity clothes but my pants were all too tight. I also remember being extremely afraid to drive. I have never minded driving in the snow, having grown up in Pittsburgh. I know how to guide a sliding car into a guard rail if I have to - but when you have a little body inside you, that airbag is scary. In non-baby related news, I took my favorite grad school class so far. The Steelers won the SUPERBOWL. The last time this happened, Kevin and I were dating and we were fairly intoxicated in a bar with a bunch of people. This time, we were in our living room with Stacey and Ken and Kevin was the only one who was even remotely intoxicated. I was stone cold sober and I can tell you it is definitely more fun when you are drinking.

February: We went to the ultrasound and found out that we were going to have a girl! My now boss, who is a friend and grad school classmate of mine, started talking about possibly hiring me to work for her. Went to a great dinner with Amy and Scott at one of my very favorite restaurants for Valentines Day. It's possible that Lily, their new baby was in Amy's tummy at the time, but we didn't know it. I missed out on snow tubing due to pregnancy. This year, we can take turns watching the squirt. Last year, this was not an option. I was very, very bored.

March: Our friend, Kelly, had her baby, Chase. She had a pregnancy wrought with all sorts of predicted problems so when Chase came out healthy and strong, it was a huge relief. I felt Cassidy move for the first time. I went to Athens and made a mess of my trip there - although I spent more time with Bob than I have in years and that was really nice.

April: My co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower along with 2 other pregnant ladies. It was really nice. For the first time, ever in my life, I personally purchased a new piece of furniture. It was a changing table/dresser for Cassidy. I said something somewhat insensitive that was related to politics to an Iraqi war veteran without meaning to and caused them to cry. This was one of the low points of the year. I started pre-natal yoga - a pregnancy high point.

May: My birthday weekend was as good as it gets when you're pregnant. My husband used his hotel reward points and booked us a room at a nice hotel and took me to an amazing dinner at a restaurant that rocked my world. Especially the caesar salad. Pregnant ladies make a cheap date - no cocktails.

June: My baby shower. It is amazing how many people love us (me, Kevin, and now Cassidy.) I forgot a good friend's birthday even though I spent her b-day weekend with her - it was horrible. I interviewed for my current job, even though it seemed kind of crazy to change jobs at this hectic, changing, new life chapter. I was having some mild contractions during the interview.

July: I was offered the job. I took the job. Kevin's birthday evening started with a nice dinner at a good restaurant and ended with me getting induced in the hospital. Cassidy was born a day and a half later. It was the most exciting experience of my life. Then I nearly died from hemoraging, which was not as bad as it sounds, but pretty bad. The next three weeks were the most difficult experience of my life. Being sleep deprived, hormone-wacky, mostly isolated from society in general and out of any semblence of routine while trying to do something very important that you have never done before just totally sucks. My mom was extremely helpful and Kevin was downright heroic. But I did not feel mentally or emotionally right for at least 3 weeks. Next time, I am getting the anti-anxiety meds prescribed before labor even begins. For the first few weeks of her life, I just did what needed to be done, slept when I could and worried constantly about her.

August: We went on a lovely vacation to the New York Finger Lakes. We drank a lot of wine and got a lot of baby breaks. Thank God for Grammie. It was the first time since her birth that I felt ok and semi-sane and actually had fun. I still had a lot of anxiety and exhaustion. But my family was very good to us and we got to relax a bit. I tried to ride my mom's bike 10 miles and quit halfway. Bike riding a few weeks after giving birth is a bad idea. I returned to work and resigned. I started to feel human again and began to truly love and enjoy my baby instead of just doing what needed to be done and worrying about her.

September: I started my new job. I got into a real routine and began to feel not just ok, but good. Like myself. I am not stay-at-home-mom material in any way. I do so much better at a job. In a routine. Out of the house. When i am with Cassidy, our time is quality and I enjoy most every moment. I stopped pumping breastmilk, which was kind of a bummer, but that whole thing just didn't go as planned. She started smiling, which is amazing. Grad school started back up. I fell in love with qualitative research. We had a little get together for people to meet Cassidy. It is the first outdoor party we've had at our house. It went well but we bought way too much beer.

October: Baby Girl reverted to a challenging sleep pattern. We have resorted to co-sleeping about half the night. First Halloween. Dressed up like a Monkey of course.

November: Cassidy started rolling over. I went away for an overnight to a conference and left daddy and baby together. Haley and Jesse got engaged. I spent most of Thanksgiving morning at the Mission helping get ready for the big meal service.

December: Finished my 3rd semester of grad school. Lily Grace arrived - finally. Kevin and I went to see KISS live at the arena. Got all my shopping done, somehow. Enjoyed our first Christmas as a family. Stayed in with Kevin, Cassidy, Darrick and Amanda for New Year's Eve.

Overall, I give the year a 9.5 It was a lot more low key than any previous year since I was a child and I missed out on a few fun activities and travel opportunities. But the best thing that has ever happened to us took place this year - Cassidy. Nothing life-changingly, irreversibly horrible happened and our lives are better than ever with the little peanut around. Best. Year. Yet.