Being a mom

I'm almost 5 months deep into this mama gig. Some reflections:

Her heart grew three sizes that day:

Yeah, that really does happen. The whole "I had no idea I could love something this much" thing. I mean, you just look at this little person that you baked inside you for the better part of a year and you melt. That first smile - holy crap. You want to shout from the roof tops "She likes me! She really likes me!" Because before that, you're really not sure. That smile seals the deal and you're like "Yeah, we are in this together, little lady."

Shifting priorities:

So I looked at my nails yesterday and fondly recalled the days of smooth, burgundy-hued, polished arcs that Grandma would have approved of. Instead we have shredded, ragged she-claws charmingly framed by slightly bloody hang nails.

The baby's little tub/washing station has been in my bathtub for 3 days. Know what that means? I haven't showered since then.

I used to hate that when you walked into people's houses, how if they had kids, you'd have to climb over the blocks, exersaucer and bouncy seat. I thought to myself...when I have kids...my children will have only a select few beautifully crafted, hand-carved wooden items that they cherish and will sit and play with for hours on end. None of this plastic jungle of primary colors invading our retro diner style vibe we having going on. Umm...yeah, let's just say we step over a lot of things in our house now and they are not handcrafted or made of wood. I would install a zip line to get from the kitchen to the living room to navigate the various baby apparatuses we have before I would get rid of them. She loves her exersaucer! I love anything that she loves!

Changing relationships:

Love my child or hit the road. I used to secretly dread that someone would bring their kid with them to do something with me - shopping, lunch, etc. Wellll...Sorry, but if you think babies are annoying or bothersome, you're off the list. Sure, I'll meet you for happy hour without the little one, but you should at least act a little bit disappointed that I'm not bringing her to see you.

Suddenly easily amused and amazed:

I used to think it was so ridiculous when parents raved about their babies and the latest "achievement." I mean, come on, we all started as babies and headed steadily toward adulthood, acquiring skills along the way. It like, umm, how it works. Fast forward a few months: My baby recently discovered how her hands work. She reaches out and grabs stuff like my husband's beard. It is both amazing and mind bogglingly cute. I nearly called the Post Gazette to insist they send out a reporter. I spend an obscene amount of time with a camera pointed at her saying "Oooh, do that again for mama! Cassidy! Cassidy, up here! Up here honey! Hey, hey you! Do that again so mama can take a picture to show Grammie!"

New hairstyle:

So I found this old clip thing that I think I stole from my friend Haley, accidentally and it has changed my life. I can put my hair up in about 4 seconds - it looks fabulous and allows me to go yet another day without water touching my head. Yes, there may be a few small critters that have taken up residence in my curly nest, but anything that gets me out the door 20 minutes faster is freakin' miracle.